There is nothing better than hearing the words ‘you don’t have cancer’. Well, sort of.
You see a better sentence would be, ‘just kidding, your totally fine, this has all been a joke, go on, get out of here’.
The elation I felt being told I didn’t have cancer was short lived when it was followed with ‘you have Crohn’s Disease’. Um, okay.
This conversation took about 4 minutes. In that time I asked the standard questions; what does that mean? Am I going to be okay? What now? And for the most part the answers were stock standard – drugs and we will monitor you and see how you go.
The man in the nice 3 piece tailored suit stood up and left and that was that. Like any person that owns an iPhone I instantly sought solace in my trusted friend Dr. Google.
As my mind whirled with the information appearing on the screen and my brain screamed ‘stop, put the phone down’ my finger took on a life of their own and started tapping away.
Not only did I not know how to spell Crohn’s, but I knew nothing about it expect that it had something to do with your insides and poo. Well, let me tell you, it is a lot more than that!
Nobody tells you that your bowels and intestines will become the topic of conversation with anyone in your life who knows what’s going on. I literally have to keep a poo diary. That’s right. A poo diary. Dear Diary, today I poo’d, it was great! Honestly, you have to detail when, texture, size, pain levels. Not only do you have to keep a diary, you start to analysis your poo much more than any human would think necessary. I mentally high five myself when I do a normal poo, it’s the equivalent of the praise mother’s give when you do your first one in the big toilet.
In an instant you feel like you loose something. For me, it was control. I don’t know what this means, more specifically, what this means for me. My life. My future. See the thing with Crohn’s, it’s inconsistent. My experience will differ from the next persons. The severity of an individuals Crohn’s will also mean different treatments options. You instantly hear the horror stories about surgeries, organs being removed from your body, bags – not Chanel or Prada – poo bags. As a newbie to Crohn’s the internet was full of information and most of it led to doom and gloom. I have just received some life-altering news and all the internet has to tell me is ‘buckle up, this is going to be shit’. Pun intended.
So I have decided I am going to document my experiences. There will be stories, facts and the general trials and tribulations that come with navigating a new path. I will keep it honest, but fun. I won’t sugar coat the bad shit and will most definitely celebrate the good ones. So buckle up, cause we are about to have one hellva ride!